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been thinking alot lately.. about work, about school (applications, that is), about family, about my faith.. maybe it's because i'm not making enough time for God, that's why things don't seem so right. yet God has been helping me in mysterious ways..

i went for Praise and Worship session (it was great and everyone truly enjoyed it), some of the songs got me thinking, and i thought i got depressed for a while.. well, God answered my prayers. uncle david came down and we chatted for quite a while, and he asked me how i was doing and all.. so told him about my grades and he gave me all the advice i needed with regards to uni decisions. only a few days before session i actually wrote a letter to Mother Mary asking her for help and her prayers, and even though i havent sent it, i'm almost thoroughly relieved that my problems are solved.

one down, many more to go..

recently i've started to realise that perhaps sakae isn't the job for me. i've spent all of my energy and commitment on work and all it has was take me away from God and my family. i mean, the money is useful, i can help relieve my parents on the financial side, etc. but i realise i cant make it down for sessions, meetings and even stations of the cross during this yr.. i'm still in a dilemma.. was supposed to hand in resignation letter yesterday, but i thought i let my colleagues and asst manager talk me out of quitting so soon. i tell myself i'll work for another week or so, if things are still going bad i'll have to resign, no matter who says what. besides, my mom has been bugging me to find another job, but sometimes it's not that easy, and i don't think she understands me on this point. much has happened ever since collection of A's results..

i suddenly feel i'm at one of my greatest turning point in my life.. everything jus seems so tense, my decisions are a mess, here and there, not complete, not firm enough. the pressure is starting to add onto me, and i feel like i need a shoulder to lean and cry on..

there was another incident that happened this week.. on the night before i wrote the letter to Mother Mary, my dad atarted throwing all the dinner and whatever was on the table to one corner of the kitchen. i didnt witness it, cos it happened like 5 mins before i returned home from work, but it was a damn big mess. glass and porcelain all over the kitchen floor and both my mom and my brother were jus cleaning everything up. i was momentarily stunned at what my dad did. i mean, he never ever threw things before and i think job has drove him to a limit.. probably not jus job alone cops my mom was nagging at him for not guiding my bro to get his freaking hands off the keyboard. everytime i think of my family now, i have tons of problems pooping up in my mind.. my dad and his work, my mom gving me stress, my brother refusing to wake up from his addiction to the com..

i just feel somehow, helpless. and undecided. perhaps God will clear the road for me..

finally updated blog layout.. but not completed yet..

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I Love Sneakers!

Sneakers- funny, laid-back, and goofy, you love to
make people laugh and have a good time. You
enjoy comfort and don't care to much about what
people think of you. You like to hang out with
your buddies and just have a good time. [please
vote! thank you! :)]


What Kind of Shoe Are You?
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